Death

We have lost so many goat, sheep, and chicken babies this year. Babies are so much harder to lose than adults.

I found out today that my grandfather has terminal lung cancer. He's 90+. While I will miss him once he is gone, it does not tear my heart the way the death, or even pain of a child does.

I have people ask me how I do it, how do I keep going even though I face the death. I turn myself off, shut down the thoughts and keep moving. I do what has to be done knowing I can save the tears for later. Hold my children while they cry, comfort them, reassure them. "I will think about that tomorrow."

I do not recall how many we have lost, or what all their names were. I could come up with a list if I tried, but I really don't want to know how many. It won't make it easier. Instead I keep moving, no time to get attached. Take care of what I can, rejoice in the eggs I collect, or the bread successes.

I do pray, that tomorrow there will be no more death.

And in case I have now depressed you all and made you not want to ever raise animals: Let me introduce Licorice. Born Today. He is a little fighter.